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Are Your Emotions Getting in The Way of a Fair and Equitable Divorce Settlement?

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It’s no surprise that divorce brings out the worst in all of us. Emotions run high and anger, jealousy, resentment and feelings of betrayal can color our decisions. The unfortunate reality is that these feelings can trigger actions that may sabotage your divorce settlement. To help minimize the impact that your emotions can have when you’re negotiating the terms of your divorce, consider these potential problems. Property Division Do you have an emotional attachment to the family home? Are your overly concerned with the possibility that your estranged spouse may be planning to settle in with a new partner – in the home that you built together? These feelings are natural, but they’re not productive. It’s understandable that you feel anger and resentment at the idea of your ex moving on in the home you made together. But, ultimately, that house is an asset that needs to be divided. Divorce offers the opportunity to start a new. Sever ties to material possessions and look towards the...
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The start of the year is peak season for divorce filings

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As the yule log's embers died and resolutions for a new year — and a new you — abounded at the start of January, family attorneys everywhere, including myself, prepared for the influx of official separations and divorce filings. In the divorce law community, we generally adhere to three truths. Engagement season is November to February. And divorce, sadly, has two high seasons — January and March. For January's bump, the let-down of failed holiday happiness, mixed with hurt and angry partners, often leads to a trip to the divorce lawyer to discuss their options. My office is usually filled with spouses who truly thought that if they could just make it past the holidays and New Year, they could heal their marriage. However, the holidays usually end up being the last straw before the matrimonial bliss takes a tumble. In addition to failed expectations, financial and family pressures soar in November and December. According to a 2012 study published in The Family ...
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Bigotry against same-sex marriage can have tragic unintended consequences

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The Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality has had many a happy outcome, but we are still seeing the lasting effects of bigotry that cannot be undone by one decision. As we debate Justice Antonin Scalia's successor, we must all remember that these seemingly far-off politics have very real and very lasting effects within our own day-to-day lives. Furthermore, someone's conservative or liberal beliefs are not the only determining factors when it comes to the American justice system. Despite your truest beliefs, sometimes our justice system produces unfair outcomes. Recently, a Florida woman, Peggy Willis, found her appeal denied a hearing in the Supreme Court after claiming that Florida's initial ban on same-sex marriage caused her to lose her parenting rights since she was not afforded the same privileges as hetero married couples. She argues that, had she gone through the split with her former partner after the June 2015 ruling legaliz...
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N.C. restroom law shows fight for LGBT equality is far from over

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North Carolina's recent discriminatory law regarding public restroom usage has been labeled as anti-gay and caused a widespread boycott of goods and services within the state and a civil rights lawsuit against the state filed by the Justice Department. The law in question requires people to use public toilets according to the gender determined on their birth certificate. Assuming you and I don't pee with our birth certificate in hand, the law could lead innocent bystanders’ gender and sexual preference to be questioned based on appearances alone — the very definition of prejudicial profiling. North Carolina may seem far geographically, but ideologically that prejudice seeps into every community — no matter how seemingly progressive. Long held as the bastion of protection for the LGBT community, New York City only allowed legalized same-sex marriage in 2011 under the guidance of Gov. Cuomo. On May 4, I attended LGBT Network's "Studio 54" gala as both h...
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Getting a Divorce? Keep Your Personal Business off Social Media

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Today, social media is a part of nearly every facet of our lives. Did it really happen if you didn’t post it? Unfortunately, this activity has lead to some very unsuccessful outcomes for many divorcing spouses. Sounding off to the world about your spouse and your marriage during a separation or divorce can have costly consequences. We frequently see examples of this at Mejias, Milgrim & Alvarado when handling the legalities of a divorce. Read on for some tips on what to avoid. Attacking Your Estranged Spouse If the split wasn’t amicable, you’re likely harboring some feelings of anger, even rage. Don’t give in to your impulse to rant about it on Facebook or Twitter. This is damaging to everyone involved, especially if you have children. It can also be used against you in child custody negotiations. The court wants to see and believe that you can work together and not disparage one another to the kids. Those angry posts may convince the judge otherwise. Sharing Too Muc...
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The long history of marriage is filled with legal and moral battles

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This past month, cities nationwide celebrated the one-year anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Court ruling that state-level bans on same-sex marriage are unconstitutional. In honor of that anniversary, and the gains our country has made towards participating in open conversations regarding LGBTQ, I wanted to share the evolution of marriage. Marriage can be a joyful union filled with love and respect, as much as it can be a political tool, business tactic or method of survival. Up until the 12th century, marriage was a system of economic and diplomatic tools meant to establish power structures. With the turn of the 12th century, we saw the first formalized marriages where the couple’s consent was more important than family approval, though the bride’s consent was still not valued more than the groom’s consent. Couples were required to give their verbal consent and marriage was not considered finalized until the couple consummated, thus setting the foundation of the ...
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Top Ten Legal Eagles - David L. Mejias is Divorce, Child, Family & Matrimonial Lawyer

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As a general area of practice, family law is as personal as it gets. It requires serving clients when they are at their most vulnerable. An attorney who can bring about resolution while maintaining personal sympathy for the parties involved makes for success. Long before he became a three-term Nassau county legislator, long before he started the firm of Mejias Milgrim & Alvarado, Dave Mejias’ early childhood shaped who he would become. The loss of his father was an unforgettable tragedy—the injustice of which still informs his practice today. Mejias has been cited as saying that for him, the business of law is personal. It is this principle that distinguishes his conduct in this area of practice.
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